Lola

the 27th is my grandma's death anniversary. i'm sorta bummed we won't be back in cali to share the day with family and to bring flowers to her grave. i am very glad to have peter though. we've talked about what we might do for her on thursday. i told him i wanted to set food out for her. i'm not sure if it's just a filipino tradition or what, but during death anniversaries, traditionally you pray for the dead and you leave food out for them so when their spirits visit i guess they will have some "spiritual" food to munch on. i think it's the whole food means love sorta thing. anyways, lola was very traditional so i wanted to do that for her, so that when her spirit visits she'll have some grub. i can't make the traditional sweet rice or anything, but i was thinking of leaving her something soft she can chew on, although peter thinks she probably has a full set of teeth in heaven. i remember her with dentures, so i'll still prepare something soft just in case. my mom and some other family/friends have been praying all week at grandpa's house for lola. and they will hold mass in lola's honor on thursday. i printed out pics of lola with the family from the wedding and will mail it to my siblings hopefully tomorrow, a little remembrance. on thursday, peter and i will pray and share memories of lola. i have many memories, but i also like that peter has memories of her too. you know, for weeks after she passed, peter would hear a walker passing by the house and think lola was coming to visit. God, i miss her so much. i miss her laughing and smiling and holding her hand. i remember going to church with her and when we prayed the Lord's prayer and we all held hands, i remember how cool and soft and smooth the skin on her hands were. it's amazing how vivid the memories of touch can be.